Poker players are multi-talented creatures. With it only taking an average of 70 hours per week for five or six years to ‘make it’, the best in the game often have plenty of spare time on their hands to become business investors, cryptocurrency experts or… singer/guitarists??
Mighty Poker Gods, Mighty Poker Song?
Yes, if you’re Jeremy Ausmus then you really can do anything. Not content to have won $13.2 million in live tournaments across a glittering career at the felt which has included five WSOP bracelets, Ausmus has turned his hand to music. Adapting the Plain White Tees’ song Hey There Delilah, Ausmus has reworked the lyrics and recorded his ‘cover version’ on film as he plays the guitar.
It’s unmissable content, and without further ado, let’s welcome the PGT, WPT and Poker Masters event winner to the stage.
It’s quite a performance, and the irony of Ausmus wearing a ‘plain white tee’ throughout the act was not lost on the poker fraternity. Universally loved, Ausmus’ skilful reworking of the lyrics to suit the world of three bets, all-ins and GTO is hilariously written and brilliantly performed.
The Poker World Praises ‘Guts’ of Ausmus
Ausmus’ peers have come out to support the Vegas-based star. Everyone seems to be an Ausmus superfan. WSOP commentator Lon McEachern said: “I know it takes a ton of time to put something like that together, every step of the way, and the guts of a burglar to put yourself out there like that. Nice going Jeremy!”
As Ausmus replied “I’ve done some other songs that were quick and easy but ya this one took a while. Thanks Lon.”, plenty more of his poker pals joined in the praise-athon.
“Can you please write infinite more verses?” said Josh Arieh. “But can you dance!?” asked Tom Wheaton, to which Ausmus quipped, “That’s the last thing I can or will ever do.”
Some went even further. Remko Rinkema, who won a Global Poker Award last year for his work on PokerGO, asked: “I demand we open the PokerGO Cup final table ceremony with you performing this song on stage.”
WPT Player of the Year and TV writer and producer Matt Salsberg joked: “Disgraceful you missed a Full House rhyming perfectly with Jared Strauss but strong piece nonetheless. Kudos, sir.”
Ausmus’s Lyrics in Full
Amid the gushing admiration, promises of a new Global Poker Award category from Eric Danis and the showering of praise from the poker world, Ausmus’ lyrical genius could easily be missed. Sure, women want to be with him, men want to be him, but it’s lyricists everywhere who are jealous.
Here are the full lyrics from the latest pre-chart sensation that seems destined to hit the Billboard Top 100 in days: Jeremy Ausmus / Hey, Mighty Poker Gods.
Verse #1
Hey, Mighty Poker Gods what’s it like to decide it all,
to decide who hits two outers and who will have the downfall today?
That’s why to you I pray
Please don’t betray…
Hey Mighty Poker Gods, don’t worry about the bad beat
I know next time will be different and I’ll get into the lucky seat for sure
We’ll show my opponents what’s in store
We’ll leave ‘em poor…
Chorus
Oh, give me good cards please, like angelic queens
Oh, give me good card please, like the holy pocket kings
Holy pocket kings
Hey Mighty Poker Gods, would it really, really be that hard,
To flop that guy a set but on the river, I hit my card
Well get him good,
We’ll send him to the rail like we should
Crush his manhood.
Hey Mighty Poker Gods, I’ve got much to confess
if every prayer of mine was answered,
I would not live to excess anymore
I’d set the GPI high score
And win gold galore…
Chorus
Winning flips would earn a lot
Especially in a great big pot
I can’t win tourneys any other way
Fools waste time on GTO
But only the wise men know
To trust in you if they really wanna slay
SPRs and ICM don’t matter when all in and at risk to possibly bust
Or be left with dust…
Hey Mighty Poker Gods, I’d sacrifice my first-born child
And sign in blood my soul to you
To never ever lose again
I trust that you will have me win
Would that be such a godforsaken sin
Mighty Poker Gods, when oh when will the heater begin?
Chorus
Hell, yeah.
